The Superior Express -

Jacob and Jessica are getting married in a little more than six weeks. I don’t know much about the wedding plans, as I’m the mother of the bridegroom, and the boys don’t tell me anything… unless there is a problem. So for now I am resting easy, knowing that “no news, is good news.”

I am however having problems finding something to wear to the event. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to wear sweatpants. That’s a bummer, and dresses aren’t really my thing. I’m shaped like an upside-down pear, wide at the top and skinny at the bottom, so shopping for a dress has been something of a nightmare for me. I bought three online, all of which make me look like I am several months pregnant. I’m not fat, I’m big-boned. What can I say. I like to eat!

I found two more, in almost the correct color, at a department store and tried them on. They were just a little too busty for my taste. One wrong move and there would be a wardrobe malfunction. We can’t have that happen. It’s a wedding, not a frat party.

My friend, Linda, has promised to go shopping with me. Maybe she will be my good luck charm. I’m praying for a miracle, or maybe just a girdle. Do they even make those anymore? Whether or not I find something that doesn’t make me look like Violet, from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I will be there and it won’t matter what I look like. I’m so excited for the two of them.

Pray for rain, X’s & O’s.