Oh my gosh! The last week has been rough! I told you I had depression and fibromyalgia. Well, I started treatment for depression a couple of weeks ago. It was great at first, I had so much energy, I was waking up in the morning feeling rested, and I was getting things done. It felt like I went from being Eeyore to Tigger overnight. It was awesome.

Then I started waking up randomly at all hours of the early morning after only sleeping for a few hours, to not being able to go back to sleep. That made for some long days, but I did accomplish quite a bit. That is until the shakes crept in. I felt like a junky needing a fix. Since the medicine was helping, I got yet another med to keep me from shaking all the time. It works, sort of.

I’ve had a tremor in my right arm for as long as I can remember. It was a side effect of the mass on my brain stem, but this was nothing like I’ve ever felt before. I couldn’t hold on to my coffee cup, couldn’t type, it was like my fine motor skills had vanished. It was horrible. This anti-shaky pill works for a few hours and then the shakes come back and I have to take another to get through the day.

Since I’m doing the poor me thing, I’ll tell you a little about my fibro. I say “my fibro,” because it is different for everyone who has it. It can be hereditary or caused by a trauma. No one in my family has it, so I am left wondering which trauma broke the camel’s back. My life tends to lean towards a “series of unfortunate events” so honestly I am having trouble pinpointing which one it was.

Was it the trauma of the brain stuff, one of the two major car accidents I was in, could it have been one of the two cheating ex-husbands, maybe it was when my oldest left to go live with his father or the youngest decided to join the Marines. Who knows, it’s like the famous question, “how many licks to the center of a tootsie pop, the world may never know.” I honestly don’t care what caused it, I just wish I didn’t have it. It’s annoying!

I call it my “Stupid,” I can’t remember anything. They call that “fibro fog.” Simply put, fibro is a misfiring of the nerves. For example, I’ll be walking across the room and get a horrible stabbing pain in my leg, almost falling on my face, and as quick as it came on it’s gone. If I were to drop a hammer on my foot I would either not feel a thing, or feel like I shot myself in the foot. It’s an over-exaggerated feeling, but darn does it hurt. So hence the term “My Stupid.”

Somedays, I crawl out of bed feeling like I was hit by a truck. Stiff and sore, and feeling bruised all over and the slightest touch makes me want to jump out of my skin. Other days I’m great.

The heat, and cold make it worse. Stress and anxiety make it worse. Crowds and loud noises, (aka over stimuli) make it worse. There is no cure, although they say it doesn’t get any worse, it does. Your tolerance for pain lessens as you age. Fibro is pain, so I would say its going to get worse.

The treatment is typically pain management, which I refused. Some have recommended I go on disability, but that’s just not my style. The treatment I chose is to treat the symptoms as they come along, aka depression, and diet and exercise, which leads me to our newest, can’t really afford it, but bought it anyway. LOL!

We purchased a home gym, and the box is patiently awaiting George in the dinning room. Let’s hope it is not as complicated as the Mini Cooper has been.

Prayers for healing are in order for this week, the healing of hearts to be more specific. So many have lost loved ones in all this craziness happening overseas. Pray for our leaders, our military, our loved ones, and even our enemies. X’s & O’s.